Her Way out of Hell
by Sparrow85
Summary: Misty manages to get out of her own hell. Well, her soul... or was it her body? Something is strange after her return. Something got lost on her journey... Foxxay(painful but still foxxay)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody! This is my first fiction. I hope You all kind of enjoy it. Please keep in mind that I'm no native english speaker. **

Chapter 1: Her way out of hell

6 months after ‚The Seven Wonders'. Misty Day is still trapped in her own hell.

Even though her soul didn't occupy her body anymore, she felt sick. She didn't know how hell managed it to let her keep on vomiting every tenth time she cut the frog beneath her shaking hands. Her eyes burning from the endless flood of tears she shed. The same tears and that certain liquid exiting her stomach through her mouth mixed together at the skin of her chin, leaving red stains as a reaction of her skin to salt and acid. It reminded her of the fire that melted her skin once, as she again screamed her already familiar 'No!' and her skin cracked open under the mimic.

And maybe it was this physical pain that caused a sudden change of thoughts in her mind. There was no desperation anymore, no sadness. There was anger. Unanswered questions like why did it hurt her skin, when there was no body anymore? Or was there a body? And if there was, why doesn't it collapse after such physical torture? Misty remembered several occasions as a young woman when she just fainted. Getting up from bed too fast had made her feel dizzy more than once. Sitting in the consulting room of a physicians' clinic, watching a needle being pushed under her skin, she fainted. She was healthy and fit and in any way underweight but call it a layer of her character, her body just did react that way when something happened, that it couldn't cope with. She took the scalpel again and looked at the blade, clean and sharp as new, although used countless times. She only thought a couple of seconds in with her jaw clenched, the muscles visibly contracting in her face. Her right fist hovered over the frog ready to cut the animal again. She felt sweat forming on her face, her neck and in the palms of her hand. That was the last proof. She was physical. She managed a satisfied grin when she moved both of her hands, the left one palm up just above the frog, the right one just doing the same movement that it did only one minute ago.

Misty felt her wristband loosen as it was cut through at the same moment she felt a relieving pain. She looked down on what she did, watched her blood well out of her body, bright red and warm. Her smile grew when she felt her fingertips and lips getting numb, her skin turning a greyish light blue and then the lack of blood and there with oxygen finally hat consequence on her brain and body functions. Her vision became blurry at once, then suddenly black. The last thing her senses realized was the thud, with which her body made contact to the floor.

She was ready for eternal darkness.

"Well, I'm not ready for you, yet!" Cordelia Foxx said, when she approached the group of young girls and boys standing near the door to the greenhouse, which was locked as long as there were students in the house during the day.

Since the number of students grew this was one of the necessary rules Cordelia had to make. She kept the keys in her office and every student who wanted to go into the greenhouse had to ask for permission and tell the Supreme (as well as headmistress) why and how long they will be in the greenhouse.

"Give me another ten minutes to prepare something, then I'll get you in" she added, while pushing herself through the small crowd. She was annoyed. Sometimes she thought that this must be the way a common high school teacher must feel. Bored students sitting on the floor, leaned against the wall in the hallways, tapping their feet to the music in their ears which was also heard by everyone else in the room.

"When can we come in, Miss Foxx?" a girl asked, chewing bubblegum noisy. Cordelia already unlocking the door turned around and looked at that girl, who was blowing a bubble now and let it pop. Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Ten minutes" she said again, slipping through the door and locking it behind her. She let her front rest against the cool wood of the door and took a deep breath. She didn't feel as if she locked herself in. It was more as if she locked the whole world out. And then the tears came again. "Oh, Misty" she cried quietly. Soft sobs exiting her mouth. She held her hand over her mouth, not wanting any of her students outside the door to hear her.

There was not a single day, when Cordelia shed a couple of tears and some regretful thoughts about the beautiful young witch she longed to get to know more, but who lost her soul and was gone forever. It was so very unfair. Misty never wanted to be supreme. Cordelia herself insisted, that she might take part. Myrtle changed the order of tests. Maybe Misty would be still alive, maybe she would have failed in any of the other tasks so she wouldn't have had to attend Descensum. Maybe, maybe, maybe…..

The tears dried. Cordelia adjusted her sleeves, took a pile of paper out of her bag and placed five pages on each workstation. She swallowed and cleared her throat, turned to "her" workstation and mixed some fluids together, poured some of them in to smaller Erlenmeyer flasks, put them onto a tray, walked over to her students' workstation again and placed on f the flasks on every table.

She was done.

She blew a strain of hair out of her face, taking a last look at her work and nodded satisfied. Then she turned around to let her students in. She smiled bravely while unlocking the door to welcome her class, but when she took a step beck, to let them in, she looked into an empty space in front of her. They were gone. Cordelia shut her eyes for one second, opened them again, but her sight was still the same: no students. She took two steps forwards to look around the corner, left, right nothing. She turned around confused once, twice. Then she heard a terrible scream: " Oh my God! Do something! She's bleeding!" Cordelia started into a sprint onto that direction the voices were coming from. She recognized the voice as one of her students', so she assumed that one of them was hurt. She entered living area, worried about that injured student in the middle of the crowd. "Let me through!" She shouted, pushing her way free, maybe too roughly. Then she saw her, her hair damp and unruly, her skin pale as chalk but still so beautiful. One of the girls in the room kneeled beside her, pressing a piece of cloth onto her left arm. Cordelia guessed it was a kitchen towel, but she couldn't tell, because it was reddened and soaking from blood. She collapsed on her knees, clutched the chest of the woman lying in the floor as if to find out, whether she was really there. She took her head in her hands, it was heavy and fell from one side to the other, lifeless. "Get away from her, let me handle that!" Cordelia said to the girl, who was trying to stop the bleeding. The girl moved and Cordelia switched positions with her. She took the towel away, put her palm carefully onto the deep wound and closed her eyes. She let her magic work. She felt a small amount of her own life and strength leaving her. The room became silent. Seconds turned to minutes. Cordelia felt weak, but she knew she had to keep on trying. She couldn't let her go again. And finally she felt the skin under her palm get warm and dry. She opened her eyes and looked down and took her hand away from the woman's arm. No sign of injury, no scar. Cordelia smiled, her eyes wandering up to the woman's face. She was back. "Misty!" Cordelia whispered before she lost consciounsness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews. That was great. The following chapter was quite difficult to write until a certain song inspired me (Blumfeld: Tausend Traenen tief) I chose not to translate it, because a translation wouldn't work. (You want translation? PM me) **

Chapter 2: Deep a thousand tears

_In mir_

_Tausend Traenen tief_

_erklingt ein altes Lied_

_es koennte viel bedeuten._

_In den Tag hinein will es bei Dir sein_

_singt für Dich allein von neuen Moeglichkeiten._

It was late that evening when Cordelia stood in front of Misty's room. Her fingers were already in the position to knock on it, when she suddenly dropped her hand. She didn't know how to talk to her, didn't know how to start. This was all so weird.

The first thing she remembered after she collapsed was a male voice yelling her name, asking her things about date, place, name of president. She looked at the paramedic for a couple of seconds before saying "I'm okay, what about her?" she had pushed herself up onto a sitting position and watched another EMT fixing Misty on a gurney. "We… will take her to hospital" he said shaking his head lightly as if to say that this fact was quite obvious. Cordelia stood and walked over to Misty, took her hand in hers and looked down at her. Misty looked back at her but without any emotional response. "I'll go with her." She said, looking at the two men. They nodded and prepared everything to leave with the two women.

Later that day Cordelia was signing some papers to confirm, that she'll pay for Misty's treatment at the front desk in the hospital when she heard a familiar voice calling her in a strange way. "Hey, we are ready to go. " She turned around, smiled at Misty and approached with the intent to take her hands and finally welcoming her back. Misty took one step back and held her hands in front of her body. "Just…. take me home" she said quietly and Cordelia wasn't sure how to react when she saw Misty's eyes becoming watery. She Just nodded and kept her distance on their way home. It was strange. Misty, who longed for friendship, loyalty, love was far away from her. She couldn't even look into her eyes for longer than two seconds. She was a stranger. Cordelia thought that maybe Misty would need some time. After all she'd been in hell for half a year.

They sat next to each other in a cab in silence. No words have been exchanged. Cordelia dared to take a look at Misty a few times, but she just stared outside the window. For a couple of seconds Cordelia thought that she missed Misty more at this very moment than she did the last six months. She wanted to go deeper, but it seemed as if she didn't even start.

She didn't know

_Komm zu mir in der Nacht_

_Wir halten uns umschlungen _

_bis der Tag erwacht_

_kuess mich dann_

_wie zum ersten mal_

Misty sat on the floor of her room watching the door. Trying to remember, trying to feel, trying to be back. Silently praying that the woman on the other side of the door would finally knock. "Get me out of this….." she whispered not able to find a word to describe where she was. Not yet back, not in hell anymore. Wanting to keep her distance but longing for closeness at the same time. "Don't leave me alone". She finally was brave enough to get up and open the door. Cordelia winced in surprise. "How…."She muttered. Misty shrugged in indifference and invited Cordelia in with a movement of her head. She closed the door behind them. "Misty, I think we need to…" "No, we don't" Cordelia was interrupted. "Let's just… not.." Cordelia heard that Misty was close to tears, so she nodded. "You want me to stay?" she asked .Misty didn't respond. She wanted. And how she wanted her to stay. But she knew as well that Cordelia's touch would hurt her. She was scared. "I….I don't know how…" Cordelia watched her and nodded when she thought she understood. "Do.. you want to listen to some music? I think that'll help you to…." Misty shook her head, a couple of tears leaving her eyes when she turned around to face the window. Cordelia walked up next to her searching for her eyes while Misty just stared outside into the darkness as if she was looking for something. Finally Misty spoke: "I'm looking for myself since you brought me back. I.. don't really know how to explain. I remember everything that happened. I know how I was, and I feel as if I'm with a stranger I don't even like." She paused to wipe her nose with the back of her right hand, then wrapped both arms around herself. "I mean.. your suggestion to listen to music was right but I don't think I could enjoy it the way I did once. " Misty sighed and closed her eyes. She didn't find the right words to explain. "I don't want to act like an asshole towards you and I didn't want to hurt you earlier." She turned her head towards Cordelia. "It's okay, Misty" she said and in a way she was reminded of a Holocaust-documentation she once watched on TV in which one of the survivors said, that you'll never get into Auschwitz if you weren't there, and you'll never find a way out if you were. Cordelia swallowed hard. She wanted to forget that memory. Misty shook her head vehemently. "No…..!" she simply said. "I'm deep inside me, I want to get out." She looked into Cordelia's eyes for a couple of seconds and Cordelia herself caught something in her eyes. A small indication of something well known. Then it was suddenly gone and Misty's eyes turned cold before she turned away to look outside the window again.

_Mit Dir_

_in ein andres Blau_

_wir teilen einen Traum_

_ein Bild aus andren Zeiten_

_so wie Du ein Teil von mir_

_bin ich ein Teil von Dir_

_Ich kann es spue__r'n _

_wenn wir uns beruehr'n_

They stood in silence for about two minutes, when Cordelia finally asked:" Do you want us to lie down?" Misty nodded.

The two women lay next to each other on their backs. Staring into the dark. Never touching each other, never sharing only a whispered word. Cordelia thought of how to help Misty. Maybe a kind of therapy, post-traumatic-something. Maybe a spell, some kind of magic. "Cordelia, Jesus.. will you please breathe!" Misty whispered. Cordelia looked at her and realized that she in fact held her breath. She nodded, took a deep breath and turned her eyes into the black again. It was an hour later when Misty closed her eyes. Cordelia heard her breathing calm and smooth and finally dared to move closer until she felt the warmth of Misty's body on her own. "I will get you out of there" she whispered. "…but you have to let me get in."

_Komm zu mir_

_in der Nacht _

_wir halten uns umschlungen_

_bis der Tag erwacht_

_Kuess mich dann_

_wie zum ersten Mal_


	3. Chapter 3

**I had to repost this chapter because of some tiny embarrassing mistakes :-). (I wrote and published this chapter after my "Schlado", so please forgive me).**

**The weather I tried to describe in the second part, is exactly the same as it is in HH(D) right now-Mary G. You know what I mean- I don't have the slightest clue if Louisiana weather can be like this at any time of the year but... well, this is my fantasy.**

**Feel free to review! That will encourage me.**

Chapter 3: "It's much easier than all that"

Cordelia woke up to the sound of singing birds. She opened her eyes, looked around and everything was so peaceful and calm. Clean and bright. White sheets and walls, fresh cool air, orange sunlight kissing the furniture and floor. Cordelia took a look onto the bed beside her. It was empty. "Why didn't she wake me?" Cordelia thought while getting up. She still wore the t-shirt and shorts she wore when she came into the room yesterday night. She walked into the bathroom. She didn't expect Misty to be there, yet she was disappointed when was proved right. Not only disappointed. In a way already annoyed, angry. Cordelia used the toilet, and then washed her face with ice-cold water to get rid of the last tiredness written on her face. She looked to herself in the mirror. "If she wants to be alone, let her be!" she said to herself. "It's obvious that she wants to, otherwise she would have waked you. Let her be!" She nodded to herself and left the room to get prepared for the day. In the hallway she took in the smell of coffee and thought how good this would be. Cordelia quickly entered her room at the other end of the hallway to get dressed. After that she almost skipped down the stairway and met Zoe in the kitchen.

"Good Morning" Cordelia said and smiled at Zoe who gave her an empathic smile in response. "Good morning. You want some breakfast? Fried eggs?" Cordelia took a look into the pan on the oven and grimaced in disgust when she saw the eggs there. Hopefully Zoe didn't saw her face, but Cordelia couldn't hide her reaction to the thought of semi-liquid egg yolk." No, thank you. But if you don't mind I'll share a mug of coffee with you." "Sure!" Zoe said, poured some coffee into a big mug and handed it over to her supreme. Cordelia took it but Zoe didn't let go. "How's Misty?" she asked quietly. Cordelia didn't say anything, just bit her bottom lip to fight the tears filling her eyes. "Sit down." She suggested, gesturing towards the kitchen table. Both women sat down opposite of each other in full attention towards the one in front of them. One trying to find the right words to say, the other one carefully listening. "First of all thank you for managing all this…" Cordelia said gesturing into the air, meaning the academy. "I'm vice-headmistress. It's my job" Zoe answered. Cordelia closed her hands around her coffee mug with the back of her thumbs touching her lips in a steady rhythm. "It was not fair of me to just leave you alone. I mean… I didn't even call you. You only knew what was going on when we came back from hos…." "You're avoiding the topic!" Cordelia was interrupted. "How is Misty?" Zoe asked again.

Cordelia shrugged. "I don't know. I don't even know where she is at this very moment. She withdraws from me. But at the same time I got the feeling she wants me to be near her. And when I'm near her, she keeps…. acting… indifferent, arrogant…almost… ass-hole-like."

"What makes you think this way?"

"She's….just not nice. She doesn't want me to touch her. She must have left the bedroom early this morning without waking me…"

"What do you expect, Cordelia? She's been in hell for half a year. Jesus, I don't know how I will behave if I survived it."

Cordelia shook her head. "It's not that. Old Misty is somewhere deep inside her. I already thought of some kind of psychological post traumatic treatment or maybe if I look hard enough I will find something in that old spell books to help her. She's desperately fighting to get out. I saw it."

"What did you see? How long did you know Misty, before she lost her soul and turned to ashes? A couple of weeks? Not even as long as that, I think!"

Cordelia put her mug on the table. She covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath. While breathing out, she let her hands slip down her face and finally clasped her hands, her chin resting on her thumbs. She looked Zoe deep in the eyes, and the younger one finally understood. She lowered her head, smiled a very small smile and said: "You fell head over heels for her! Cordelia!" Zoe reached out for one of Cordelia's wrist to get an answer, but the older one just burst out in tears, which in a way was an answer to her. Cordelia turned her head, one of her hands holding Zoe's the other one still covering her mouth, to not cry out loud. She saw the sunlight slowly disappearing behind some very grey clouds outside the window. Wind shaking the trees. It was the total opposite of the weather that waked her up half an hour ago.

Zoe let her supreme cry for a couple of minutes. Her hand almost bruised by the way Cordelia held it. She got up from her chair, not letting go of Cordelia's hand and walked over to her. "Hey!" she said to get the older woman's attention. Cordelia looked up to her. "You want to hear my suggestion? Leave the psychiatrist, leave the magic…" Zoe crouched down to be even with Cordelia. "I think it is much easier than all that!" She said and left the room, leaving Cordelia alone.

* * *

Thunder ripped through the air. Stormy wind was blowing, but not a single raindrop was falling from the sky yet. Misty turned her head up looking at the dark clouds above her. Her lips and fingertips already turned blue from the cool air. Her nose was runny and the skin around it was quite sore of her hand wiping over the wet skin again and again. She was thinking to herself.

When she woke up this morning, it was still dark outside. She had felt Cordelia's body much too close beside her. She knew that she was supposed to feel comforted, but she didn't. She wanted to be alone, far away from any human being. So she decided to leave the house. When she heard the first thunder in the sky, she felt relieved. As if heavens understood how she felt. Cold, sore, anything but happy.

She heard a little chirp next to her and turned her head to where the sound was coming from. In the meadow, next to her sat a little sparrow. Misty closed her eyes and suddenly flashbacks of that fatal situation when something quite similar as that, had her being burned on the pyre, hit her vision. "His eyes on the sparrow….why should it stay alive, while you had to die twice? Isn't your life much more valuable than the sparrow's? It has got no right to live on." The chirping noise of the bird turned louder in Misty's ears up to a point where she couldn't stand it "No, I don't want to kill a living creature! I bring back life! I bring back life! I bring back life!" She clutched her hands on both sides of her face to cover her ears and closed her eyes. In her senses was a sudden change of a chirping bird, burning skin, dissected frog, chirping bird, burning skin, dissected frog…."I bring back life! I bring back life! I bring take life! I take life! I take life" Her thoughts became a whisper, which turned into spoken words ending up in desperate scream when her right arm reached out to grab….

"Hey!"

Cordelia froze at the sound of Misty's voice right behind her. "How did she get in?" she thought to herself. "The door to the greenhouse is locked…" Cordelia had to admit to herself that she was scared of Misty. She slowly turned around. Her fear was suddenly gone what she saw Misty in front of her. Skin almost translucent, blue veins marked her front, chin and neck, her eyelids red from the cold wind ravishing them. She radiated chill. Cordelia didn't say anything until she saw Misty's right hand covered in sticky dark blood. "What did you do?!" she screamed and looked up to Misty's face whose eyes began to roll back into her head before she collapsed into Cordelia's arms.

"What the hell did you do?!" Misty heard Cordelia say. She was lying on the muddy floor of the greenhouse. Cordelia sat next to her holding a garden hose in her hands washing away the red from her hand.

"I killed a bird…" Misty said her voice just above a whisper.

"What?" Cordelia asked and looked at her in shock.

"I ki…bir"

"Well….."Cordelia said as she examined Misty's palm. "I think you won't need stiches"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Bathroom Session

"Come here!" Cordelia said softly.

She was standing in front of the sink in her bathroom and beckoned Misty, who stood on the door sill. Her bare feet were dirty from mud as well as her long knitted cardigan and her nightgown.

Misty slowly entered the room until she stood very close to Cordelia an opened her wounded hand to her. The older woman took a small first-aid-kit out of the shelf in front of her. She poured some brown liquid onto a gauze swab before she took Misty's hand in hers and carefully dabbed the short cut on Misty's palm.

Both women looked down and a couple of strands of their hair touched. Misty and Cordelia looked into each other's eyes. A small smile was tugging at the younger woman's lips and Cordelia felt some of her tenseness disappear.

"You're okay?" Cordelia asked her voice just above a whisper. Her eyes were still locked with Misty's.

"So far… Yes…" She breathed.

Cordelia felt some heat rising up her neck. She swallowed hard, beginning to rub her thumb on the skin of Misty's hand, absentmindedly

Misty suddenly realized, that she never looked into Cordelia' real eyes before and she somehow got lost in those deep dark pools. She was really cold but, damn, she wanted this moment to last forever. It was as if Cordelia slowly pulled her out of her hell, with her eyes. But suddenly a stinging pain ripped through her hand.

"Ouch!" She groaned with pain and contorted her face. Cordelia tried to calm Misty smoothly touching her forearm.

"I'm sorry, it's gonna be okay. " She felt sorry for hurting Misty but at the same time a small piece of satisfaction grew inside her.

"Hey!" She said and softly grabbed Misty's chin to get her attention again.

"You did good! You've shown a reaction." Cordelia had to swallow a small laugh on her own ironic joke, but Misty's face froze at once and Cordelia lost a bit of hope when she saw Misty's eyes turn cold again. She looked down onto Misty's wounded hand again.

"I didn't mean to put you on. I'm sorry."

Misty shook her head hardly ever noticeable. "Why didn't you use your magic, like you did yesterday?" She asked, pointing onto her wounded palm with her other hand

Cordelia clenched her teeth. She finished dressing the wound with less caution than she used so far.

"You're welcome…" she murmured.

"Pardon?"

"There's no need. You'll be fine. It's only a small cut". She said while she put the dressing and things back onto the shelf.

Cordelia turned around and watched in slight amusement when Misty eyed up her bandaged hand, turned it this way and that, and tried to clench her fingers, which of course didn't really work that well.

"Do you think you might need painkillers? " Cordelia asked.

Misty stopped her motion, prodded the bandage on her hand with one finger, just above the wound and finally turned to answer Cordelia.

"No, I don't. Thank you."

Cordelia looked at her for a couple of seconds, again heat rising up her spine and neck and again she got the feeling that Misty's eyes were silently begging her to help her get out.

She bit her bottom lip before she spoke: "Now, what about that bird?"

Cordelia didn't know if she had done something wrong or if it was just coincidence when Misty suddenly slouched her shoulders and began to tremble. The older woman approached her. She took her shoulders carefully to comfort her and tried to look her in the eyes. Misty avoided her look and turned her head away. She looked down on the floor and her eyes moved from tile to tile as if the answer to Cordelia's question was somewhere down there.

"Come here! Sit down!" Cordelia softly pushed Misty down and made her sit on the edge of the bathtub, while she sat cross-legged on the floor next to her. She didn't dare to touch her although her empathy told her to put a comforting hand on the other woman's knee.

"I don't know what to do!" Cordelia suddenly admitted in a whisper.

Misty lifted her hands to her temples, when she felt something bad arise in her. She closed her eyes again and some visions of that little bird in her hands hit her mind. She felt its soft feathers on her fingertips and it's restless pace of heartbeat. She closed her hands together, feeling the small animal trying to flap its wings, feeling the tiny claws scratching her skin. Then the vision began to start again as if in an endless loop.

A strange feeling in her stomach made Misty come back to reality. She felt her palms getting sweaty.

"I don't know… I think I killed….." While muttering those words, she felt an uncomfortable amount of saliva concentrating in her mouth. She took two shaky breaths before she suddenly turned around, slipping from the edge, falling onto her knees. Her hands clutching the edge of the bathtub as if her life depended on it. Cordelia felt helpless watching Misty wrench. She just sat beside her trying not to vomit herself from listening to the noises Misty made which sounded as if her body turned inside out. Misty finally calmed down and Cordelia heard the relieving sound of running water. She watched as Misty shoveled some hands full of water into her mouth to rinse it, afterwards she just let it run. The younger woman turned around again, she collapsed on the floor next to Cordelia, the back of her head leaned against the enamel behind her. She was totally exhausted. Cordelia heard some sobbing, sniffing and coughing, then felt an ice-cold wet hand grabbing hers. Both women closed their eyes and that was the moment when Misty let Cordelia in.

* * *

_"__What's this?" Cordelia asked. Misty stood beside her still holding her hand, but not saying anything._

_They were standing in the science-room of a school. Looking around Cordelia found a calendar at the wall. _

_"__1997? This is your past?" _

_Misty pressed her lips together and shook her head in the slightest possible way._

_"__Not exactly." Misty pointed to one empty seat in some row in the middle of the room. It was then, that Cordelia realized, that all the students of the class, as well as the teacher standing behind one of them, didn't move. They all were frozen in some motion._

_"__Go!" Cordelia heard Misty say. _

_Both women passed the rows of students until they arrived at the empty seat. "What is this?" Cordelia asked again. She took a look at the desk and the objects that were spread on it. There was on open leather-pencil case, the name of Stevie Nicks scribbled on it with different overwritten colors. Cordelia thought she understood. She looked at Misty who only looked on the desk. Cordelia followed her eyes. There was a science book, wrapped in some brown Packing paper. _

_"__May I touch it?" Cordelia asked. Misty nodded silently._

_When Cordelia wanted to let go of Misty's hand to take the book, the younger witch only grabbed it stronger. _

_"__No!" She said in panic. Cordelia looked at her in confusion. _

_"__I don't know what will happen, if we let go,now." Misty said and loosened her hand to a 'normal" grip. _

_"__Okay. "Cordelia said and intertwined her fingers with Misty's. _

_She turned her attention to the book again and Misty sighed in relief._

_Cordelia turned it open with her free hand and found the initials 'M.D.' in the upper right corner of the first page. _

_"__Oh, my god! Misty…" She turned around to look at her._

_"__This IS your past!" _

_Misty shook her head vehemently. _

_"__No, it isn't!" she insisted. "Sit down. I'll show you." _

_Cordelia said down on the stool, Misty walked behind her as close as possible, with their hands still locked together. _

_"__Are you ready?" Misty asked her voice trembling._

_Cordelia began to feel uncomfortable. She didn't know what this was all about. All she knew was that 'Yes' would be the right answer, if she wanted to help Misty. Not knowing how she herself would end up. _

_She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and finally said: "Yes!" and almost simultaneously Misty let go of her hand. _

_Cordelia opened her eyes and the scene became agitated. She saw her hands crossed above the desk. Taking them away she heard a croak. She smiled at the frog. She turned around to look at Misty but she wasn't there._

_"__You don't want to dissect a dead frog, you're going to dissect a living one!" _

_Cordelia turned around to the other side and saw her hand being pushed downwards, in her fist a scalpel!_

_"__No! Please, I don't want to kill a living creature"_

_Misty watched with tears in her eyes. Cordelia staring into nothing, murmuring the words Misty already knew by heart. It was after the fourth loop, when she couldn't stand it anymore. She took Cordelia's hand. _

_Cordelia opened her eyes again._

_"__Th…This is y…your hell" she stammered the last word hardly audible. _

_"__Come with me!" Misty said, pulling at her hand, but Cordelia didn't make a move. _

_"__Cordelia!" Misty yelled at her and grabbed the older woman's shoulder. _

_Cordelia managed to look into Misty's eyes. _

_"__You never had a chance to get out. You never…You just can't act against your nature."_

_Misty looked at her confused._

_"__I mean.. Zoe's hell, my hell, Queenie's hell…. We all kind of had to come over our own weakness to get out. But you…you weren't weak. What you did was right. You were strong. There was nothing you could have done different to get out. How did you do that? What did you do?"_

_Misty thought for a couple of seconds, then she finally knew herself. _

_"__I…rather harmed myself than an innocent living creature?!"_

* * *

Both women opened their eyes. They listened to each other's breathing.

Cordelia heard the water still running behind her. She was the first to say something.

"With what I know now… " she said and waited for Misty to pay attention.

When the younger woman finally turned to face her, she finished: "I don't think you killed that bird."

Misty smiled at her.

"Thank you" she said, her voice still husky. She cleared her throat.

She looked into Cordelia's eyes, her hands still locked together. Cordelia winked at her and lifted her left hand towards Misty to push a strand of hair behind her ears, then let it rest in the crook of her neck and softly stroke the skin of her face.

Misty had to fight the urge to nuzzle into Cordelia's hand. She slowly closed her eyes at the feeling of the other woman's warm palm against her skin. It felt good. It finally felt good. She opened her eyes again to the sound of Cordelia's voice.

"So that was session one. Enough for today?"

Misty nodded.

"Do I get something as a reward? " Misty asked. Cordelia thought she heard slight teasing in Misty's words.

"What, do you think would be appropriate?"

Misty looked down at her bare feet.

"Err…. You know… I'm muddy as shit and….freezing my ass off so….a full bath with lots of bubbles and that lavender scent would be great. "

Cordelia nodded in agreement.

"You deserve it.


	5. Chapter 5

-Intermezzo-

Cordelia left her room and closed the door behind her as quiet as possible. She had prepared that bath for Misty, brought her some fresh towels, a cozy bathrobe and some of her clothes for Misty to wear. She also left her IPod in the bathroom, so Misty could listen to some music. Cordelia wanted everything to be 'normal' for her. Leaning back against the door she quietly spoke to herself. "God, help me, help me help me!" Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the naked figure of Misty in her bathroom in front of her. The way the abs of the younger woman contracted while she got undressed drove her crazy. She needed to get out. It was much too hot for her in the bathroom. Hot steam, hot swamp witch.

Cordelia rubbed her neck, calmed her breathing and tried to think of something else. " Work, work, work! You have Work to do. Yeah, right. Overdue paperwork." She fanned herself with both hands and walked down the hallway, constantly clearing her throat, as if it would clear her thoughts of Misty as well.

When she sat down at her desk she found several post-its stick on her note-book screen, all of them written by Zoe. Some calls she had to make, some forms she had to fill in, meetings and appointments to arrange. Cordelia skimmed over the words, blew out her cheeks, drummed on the surface of the wooden desk and said to herself: "Let's get started!"

She was working about two hours when she finally took the last piece from the pile on her desk. It was an application file. Some young woman wanted to become teacher at Robichaux's. That was something entirely new, so it caught Cordelia's interest at once. She read with the utmost concentration, so she did neither hear the knock on her door, nor did she realize the person who entered her office.

"You're really busy, huh?"

Cordelia winced at the sound and looked up to where that voice was coming from.

"Misty…! You scared me!" she said but then smiled at the other woman, her cheeks blushing.

Misty sat down on the chair across from Cordelia, who stood up, circuited her desk and leaned against it on the other side. She scrutinized Misty who was wearing the clothes Cordelia gave her. The older woman grinned at how Misty constantly tried to pull down the sleeves of her sweatshirt. To Cordelia she looked cute. Again she felt that heat rising in her neck and she knew she had to talk about this with her. Now.

"You're uncomfortable, right?"

"No." Misty shook her head. "It's just a bit…" She grabbed the hems of each sleeve with her fingers, stretched both of her arms as far as possible and then let go. And as was expected, both sleeves slid up her arms two inches.

"I didn't mean the clothes" Cordelia said.

"I mean…" she didn't finish the sentence; instead she gestured between the two of them with her hand.

"I don't know what you expect of me." Misty said, looking at her hands, which were folded in her lap.

"I want you to tell me, what you want me to do about this, Misty!"

"About what?" Misty asked.

Cordelia moaned in annoyance. She started to pace the room, while Misty still didn't response.

"It's not as if my life depends on it, " Cordelia began to speak," but I think I earn a bit more…I don't know. You didn't even thank me for what I have done for you. I am disappointed and I am hurt." She turned around to face Misty, approached her. "What about the 'Great Team'?" With those last words Cordelia crouched down in front of Misty and took the younger woman's hand in hers. Their eyes met and for Misty it seemed as if Cordelia was searching for something that wasn't there. Then she saw her eyes lower just a bit. She came closer. Misty saw Cordelia parting her lips the slightest bit, when it suddenly hit her mind.

"Fuck, Cordelia!" Misty let her head fall down.

She turned their hands in her lap, so that her hand was on top of Cordelia's. After that she finally spoke and she knew it would break Cordelia's heart. What she didn't know was, what it would do to herself.

"The reason why I didn't thank you, is that it would never be enough. I killed myself to get out of hell and I would have died, if you didn't save me. You brought me back. No one else could have done it. And now it's clear to me, why. You even went through my hell to help me….I….I thank you for all that."

Misty felt tears filling her eyes.

"There is nothing I could give you in return." She continued. "' 'N' that's because….what you expect of me…..is far more…than I can give. And again, I don't want to hurt you but I think you want this 'Great Team' to be more than I do."

Misty looked into Cordelia's eyes and nodded slowly to make sure she understood.

Cordelia turned a whiter shade of pale at once. There was a sudden buzzing in her hears. Misty's voice sounded like from far away as she continued to speak.

"I enjoy your company. Don't get me wrong. I know that something in you does have a certain effect on me, it helps me and… I surely need it. But….please… I don't want you to waste those feelings for me, because…"

Cordelia shook her head. "No…" She whispered, tears running down her cheeks.

"I need you as a friend."

A minute of silence.

Cordelia stood up and turned around, her back to Misty. She heard her shifting, obviously getting up. The wooden floor creaking under the weight of her steps approaching the door.

Misty left.

**I know, it broke my heart, too...**

**In my mind there are two ideas which I could follow, a happy one and... well...**

**let me know..**


	6. Chapter 6

"I guess I need to know, how it feels like"

**I found a way to make this story longer than I thought, so enjoy!**

**Listen to : 'StanFour' Life without You**

_Didn't want to say goodbye_

_Didn't want to see you cry_

_Look what I've done_

_Didn't want to make a mess_

_Broke your heart and I confess_

_I'm the guilty one_

"So, if you'd like to see the balconies…" the man in the grey suit said.

"- ies?" Cordelia asked.

"Two of them, one at the living room, and one at what would be the sleeping room. "He answered.

Cordelia followed him into one of the empty rooms. It smelled of wood and fresh paint. She looked around and pointed to the chimney.

"Oh, yes!" he said, after he opened the double-door to the balcony.

"It works with gas. Same with the oven in the kitchen. Do you want to see the kitchen?"

"I'm really impressed Mr. Baker."

"You assigned me as a realtor, you get only the best, Miss Fox." He said and smiled a toothpaste-commercial-smile.

Cordelia smiled at him politely then walked pass him onto the balcony.

"Is that the swamps you can see from here?" She asked turning around to the realtor who was polishing his fingernails at the lapel of his suit-jacket.

When he heard her voice, he walked to join her on the balcony.

"Yes. The swamps. It's beautiful, isn't it? In a way spooky enchanted. I love this view."

"It would fit her." Cordelia said and took a deep breath.

"Her?" the realtor asked. He turned around to lean against the banister and watched the woman next to him.

"A friend I want to rent this apartment for. She has been through a lot and…."

"You don't have to tell me that, Miss Foxx." Mr. Baker said when he realized the woman next to him becoming nervous, uncomfortable.

"Would you please leave me alone, for a couple of minutes?" Cordelia said and then put her sunglasses on, because of the tears she felt already burning in her eyes.

"Sure! If you make your decision today, the finder's fee will be 10 percent off!" he waited for a response, but Cordelia just turned around and looked to the swamps.

"Okay. I'll be in the kitchen" the realtor said pointing behind his shoulder with his thumb, then turned on his heels.

Cordelia knew that this would be perfect for Misty.

She already imagined her swirling and dancing through the rooms, cooking for the both of them in the kitchen while she was singing a song to herself, standing on that very balcony looking at the swamps on a cool morning wearing only a night gown and a knitted shawl, while her fingertips lightly touched the petals of the plants she was growing, sitting in an old arm-chair in front of the fireplace reading.

Cordelia smiled, but that smile vanished when it hit her mind, that Misty wasn't like that anymore.

Two weeks have elapsed since the day her heart was broken. At first Misty treated her unbearable nice and polite. Always greeting her with a soft "Hey!" and an empathic smile. Always wanting to help her with every little thing, up to point when Cordelia finally had enough. "Stop patronizing me, Misty!" She had yelled at the younger woman. Misty had frozen in shock and from that moment on she avoided Cordelia. And that was even harder to bear.

Cordelia began to cry silently. She made this decision. She knew she was not able to get over it with Misty being around her all day. She would not be able to fall out of love. Her heart would not be able to heal. She needed time. And maybe someday…

"Miss Foxx?"

Cordelia turned around when she heard the realtor call her.

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave for another appo…" –

"Can I sign the papers, now?"

* * *

Misty plopped down on a chair at the kitchen table. She blew a strand of hair out of her face and brought her legs up on another chair next to her, her feet in woolen socks she got from Zoe. Compared to the pants and shirt she got from Cordelia, they fit at least.

"Thank you." She said looking up at Zoe who put a mug of steaming hot coffee on the table in front of her.

The younger woman sat down across from her.

"And thank you for shopping with me."

"You have to thank Cordelia. She gave me 500 bucks for you to spend."

Misty looked down into her cup at the sound of Cordelia's name, blowing little holes into the soft creamy foam. "Why did she do this?" she thought to herself.

"Where is she anyway?" Misty asked and sat properly. She felt a sudden itch on the inside of her left wrist and scratched herself not really paying too much attention to it.

Zoe shrugged.

"She told me something about an appointment in town. That was before we left four hours ago." She said checking her watch.

Misty nodded and took a sip of her coffee. 'I feel more comfortable without her being around anyway' she thought to herself.

"When will the both of you act normal again?" Zoe suddenly asked, putting her own cup down on the table.

Misty shook her head. "I don't know. " She rubbed her forehead.

"I don't know what I can do. "

"Talk to her, Misty!"

"Don't you think I tried? This is hard for me. I don't want to hurt her, but every time I see her I got the feeling I do it again and again and again. It's a hell."

"But it will be heaven if you tell her."

Misty shook her head.

"You don't understand."

"If the both of you would finally talk to each other…!" Zoe said obviously annoyed.

"What!?" Misty said angry and put her cup on the table with a loud thud.

"That wouldn't change anything, Zoe!" Misty pinched the bridge of her nose, blinked once, twice and then took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Zoe." She put her hands around the warm cup again.

Zoe swallowed hard, waiting for Misty to speak.

"She already told me, Zoe."

The two women looked into each other's eyes. Misty slowly shook her head.

"Then what?" Zoe asked, although the answer was quite predictable. Still she wished to not be right.

Misty stared into her hot beverage again, as if the answer was somewhere in that dark hot liquid. The heat of the cup causing a slight pain on the healing wound on her palm.

"I don't reciprocate it." Misty said, her voice just above a whisper.

Zoe rested her elbows on the table, her face hid in the palms of her hands.

"Do you believe what you're saying? There's magic between the two of you, and I don't mean the witch thing."

"I don't deny that, but that magic you speak of is friendship. Nothing more. And by the way, I think that this magic is slowly vanishing. " Misty scratched her wrist again.

"Why do you think so?" Zoe asked.

Misty shook her head slightly.

"This situation is unbearable. And it must be even worse for Cordelia. I….already thought of leaving but… I don't know where to go. This house…" Misty scanned the room. "became my home. Y'all became my tribe. I want to be a part of it, but I need time to become whole again. I…" she sobbed and looked away from Zoe.

"I want to stay. I want everything to turn out alright."

"It will kill Cordelia sooner or later. I mean…I myself can't even bare this situation. I really like both of you. I hate to choose to be on anyone's side."

"Choose Cordelia. She's your supreme. I'm still some kind of …evil"

Zoe reached out to grab Misty's hand.

"You're still my friend, Misty."

"And I want to be yours …and Cordelia's. Right now I think that I am much further away from her that I have been, when I was in hell."

Zoe saw Misty's eyes turn cold when she mentioned hell.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes. Zoe shook her head from time to time in disbelief.

"Misty!" she suddenly said to get the other woman's attention.

Misty looked up from her cup.

"I meet some friends tonight. We want to go out. Dancing, party. I would like you to join us. What do you think?"

"Err…" Misty cocked her head to one side pondering.

"That's not really my scene, is it?" she shifted nervously on her chair. A small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Not your scene? Are you kidding me? Music and dancing isn't your scene? Come on!"

Misty hat to giggle at the other woman's sudden excitement to convince her

"Come on Misty! We bought you all that new stuff and you would just look damn hot in that tight leather pants with those lacings at both sides."

Misty laughed and put her hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay I'll come!"

Zoe clapped her hands together without making a sound. She stood up and rounded the table to take Misty's hands.

"I think doing something normal will help you. I want to get you out of that depressive mood. And….maybe that will help you forget hell and the pain and whatever is about Cordelia for at least a couple of hours. Be happy, okay?"

Misty stood up and hugged Zoe in a friendly way.

"Thank you, Zoe!" she said.

"Although…I can't think of who will mind if I look damn hot"

Both women closed their eyes laughing.

When Misty opened hers again, she suddenly let go of Zoe even pushed her a bit away from her.

Zoe grimaced in surprise and turned around to see what caused Misty's sudden withdrawal.

"Cordelia…" she said, smiling at her supreme.

"Misty just agreed to go out with me and some friends, tonight. I think it will do her good."

Cordelia looked from Zoe to Misty who awkwardly smiled at her, then back to Zoe.

"I need to talk to Misty." She simply said.

'Fuck!' Misty thought to herself and looked to Zoe seeking for help, but her friend just put her hands in pockets and left the room.

Misty leaned against the counter behind her. She didn't want to sit, because that would have made her smaller than Cordelia.

Cordelia sat on the kitchen table with one leg, putting a folder next to her on the wooden surface.

_How I need to hear you_

_Hear you so softly_

_Hear you say anything_

_Every single tear you shed_

_Well it kills me_

_She'll never see_

* * *

"How are you?" She said looking at Misty in full attention.

Misty crossed her arms over her chest, on one hand as an automatic gesture of self-protection, on the other hand to distract herself from that returning itch on her wrist.

"To be honest, I feel like shit." Misty said calmly.

"There we do have something in common." Cordelia said and smiled slightly at Misty, who obviously didn't know how to respond and just looked away.

Cordelia waited some seconds, then went on.

"I think this situation is just as unbearable for you as it is for me. I don't know how to act towards you."

"Neither do I." Misty felt some tears rolling down her cheeks and wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"You act as if we had a relationship for ten years and now I want to leave you. You treat me like shit and there's nothing I owe you." Misty's voice became angrier with every word.

Misty started walking towards Cordelia.

"I don't know what you persuaded yourself of in the last six months. What do you expect me to do?" she asked Cordelia. She suddenly felt dizzy, as she often did, since she came back. It always happened when her emotions suddenly changed, not that she had any influence on it.

Cordelia shook her head. She noticed the change in Misty's eyes as well.

"I want us to stay apart from each other. "

Misty stood with her arms akimbo.

"How? We avoid each other whenever possible. You already use Zoe as a mediator. Why didn't you give the money to me? Why did you do that anyway?"

"You wouldn't have taken it." Cordelia said quietly.

Suddenly Misty slouched her shoulders and began to cry. She turned away from Cordelia, walked back to the counter where she draw invisible parallel lines on the countertop with her fingers, her body slightly beginning to rock in the same rhythm. She felt Cordelia's hand between her shoulder blades but she didn't move to face her.

"Leave your hand there." She simply said her voice nasally.

"For as long as you want me to." Cordelia said and smiled at her.

"I…"Misty turned around again, and leaned back against the counter again. Cordelia did the same.

"I want it to be as it was before…" She finished her sentence.

"I want to spend whole days and nights with you in the greenhouse again. I want us to find ancient spells and potion formulae out of that old books. And I want to try them. I want to learn from you. You are my supreme, Cordelia. I try to grow 'normal' again and all this…" she gestured between the both of them, "..balks me to do so. It is all too much."

Cordelia took a deep breath.

"And by the way….." Misty began again,"…I don't want you to maintain me. Not as long as your emotions are that …deep."

"Yeah, well that would be too late. But… believe me. I did it for both of us."

Cordelia walked over to the table to get the folder. She gave it to Misty and leaned at the counter again next to her.

Misty looked at Cordelia with inquiry eyes, then opened it.

Cordelia suddenly felt a lump in her throat, and tears burning in her eyes.

"What's that?" Misty asked in confusion.

"It's…" Cordelia cleared her throat and begged her voice didn't show her cry, " It's an essay of a apartment to rent, ten minutes from here."

Misty still didn't understand, or didn't want to. She closed the folder again and handed it back to Cordelia.

_This is life without you _

_Learning how to miss you _

_I guess I need to know how it feels like_

_This is life without you _

_I don't know who to turn to_

_And everything I know to say is good bye_

_So goodbye_

_This is life without you_

"Misty!..." Cordelia moved to stand in front of Misty. She looked into those beautiful eyes, her lips, slightly parted. And the heat still rising in her neck told her that she did the right thing.

"I want you to move there." Cordelia said firmly. She watched Misty losing all facial expression.

"You kick me out?" Misty asked her voice shaking. Tears running quietly down her face again. She was upset.

"What did I do? Did I do anything wrong?" She covered her eyes with her left hand, avoiding Cordelia's gaze.

"No, no you didn't. Please don't think so! I was the one who did something wrong, and now I try to fix it. I try to….come over it….to…fall out of love... I just want to live a life with you in friendship…somehow…maybe…..look at me." Cordelia grabbed Misty's hand to look into her eyes. Misty struggled against it, and so their hands fought a silly battle in front of their faces until Cordelia suddenly realized something.

"What's that?" She said in shock.

It caught Misty's attention as well, when she felt that itch again at the same spot on her inner wrist.

"Let me have a look!" Cordelia said and without waiting for response she turned Misty's hand in hers, so that she could look at her wrist properly.

"H…How..?" Cordelia muttered when she softly rubbed her fingers over the light pink scar that was visible there.

_Didn't want to make a mess_

_Didn't want to feel again_

_This heart has had enough_

_Desperate hurting all alone_

_Called a house that isn't home_

_Afraid you pick it up_

_All I need is someone tell me I'm crazy_

_It just might safe me_

_And all I need is someone right here beside_

_Now I can see_


	7. Chapter 7

_I am so so sorry it took me so long to update but, well, there was the dvd-release of "coven" in germany and ... I had two really stressful weeks at my job... _

_enjoy it._

_btw: I Imagined Jonas to look like Dylan McDermott... maybe a bit younger._

Chapter 6:

She still couldn't believe it. She still didn't know what she did to be treated this way. This had nothing to do with love or whatever it is what she thinks she feels towards her. You wouldn't treat a person you love like that and you certainly wouldn't a friend.

It was the late evening of the same day, when Misty took a shower, put on underpants and bra as well as a certain pair of faux leather pants and a pair of high heel boots, all in night black. She adjusted the laces on one side of her pants leg to make sure it was as tight as possible, when she heard the doorbell ring and muffled steps outside her door probably running down the stairway. Misty checked the alarm clock on her night stand. 11.30pm. That friend of Zoe was in time. What was his name again? John? Jason? Whatever, Zoe would introduce him, anyway. Misty picked up the black tank top from the bed and put it on, then checked herself in the mirror. She turned this way and that and decided that her outfit was adequately. She walked into the bathroom again to put some make up on. She smiled at herself in the mirror afterwards. 'You look like yourself again, now go out and have fun!' She nodded to herself and walked out of the bathroom. She took the dark red shawl from the back of her chair and wrapped it around her shoulders before she finally left the room.

When she walked down the stairway, she already saw Zoe talking to a man standing next to her. Both turned around when they heard her steps.

Misty saw a handsome man, just about her age, maybe a bit older, bright grey eyes, short dark shiny hair, cute smile, three-day-stubble, not too buff. He wore jeans, tight enough at the right spots, a white shirt and a leather biker-jacket. She felt herself blush involuntarily; she lowered her head and grinned to herself, while she approached the other two.

"Hey, Misty!" Zoe said. She gestured towards the man.

"This is Jonas, Jonas…" she gestured back to Misty,"...Misty."

Misty reached out to shake Jonas' hand.

"Nice to meet you. " She said and winked at him.

Jonas took Misty's hand and held it for a second longer than necessary.

They changed no words anymore; just smiled at each other in reciprocal appreciation.

Zoe's gaze alternated between the two of them, realizing what was going on before she finally said:

"Ahem, okay, let's go. We'll meet the others at the club."

Misty and Jonas looked at her and found themselves back in reality.

Jonas started to walk, to open the door for the two women.

"I'll go 'n' unlock the car. " Jonas said and walked down the dooryard to the street.

Zoe was busy locking the front door when she spoke to Misty quietly.

"And there you go, breaking Cordelia's heart again."

Both women approached the car.

"Would you please do me a favor and not mention Cordelia's name tonight?" Misty responded ever so quietly.

"Huh?" Jonas turned around to make sure, the question wasn't directed at him.

"Nothing!" both women said simultaneously.

Misty, Jonas and Zoe and two other friends of Zoe entered one of the night clubs on Bourbon Street half an hour later. It was dark, loud, stuffy and much too crowded. All of it something that Misty would usually avoid. She didn't know why she liked it this time. She took the shawl off of her shoulders, wrapped it around her hips and knotted the ends together at one side. When she was finished she looked up and saw Jason smiling at her.

"Quite warm in here, right?" he blinked at her.

Misty looked around and saw Zoe and the others in some corner of the club talking and moving awkwardly to the rhythm of the music. She caught Zoe's gaze and both women nodded to make clear they would have an eye on each other.

"Have fun!" Zoe mouthed towards her and Misty smiled.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

Misty turned around to look at Jonas again and smiled at him

"N… not yet. I'd rather dance."

She took Jonas' hand and pulled him behind her to the dance floor.

"Wh.. oh, okay.."

Misty moved her hips, her eyes closed. She lifted her hands to wipe some strands of hair out of her face. She felt the bass and rhythm vibrating through her body. Jonas watched her enthralled.

They danced about half an hour in which their bodies were accidently pushed together more than once. They smiled and laughed at each other when this happened, they obviously enjoyed these moments. Misty suddenly stopped in her motion and said:

"Let's have a drink!"

They stood close to each other at the bar. It was crowded and there were no free stools left.

"What do you want?" Jonas asked.

Misty looked at the hundreds of bottles on the shelves behind the bar. All full of clear, golden or brown liquids, some of them red, pink, blue or another funny color. She bit her bottom lip before she finally decided and pointed out to a certain bottle.

"Tequila….Anejo!"

Jonas looked at her surprised and nodded in respect.

"Classy!" he responded before he ordered a coke for him, Misty's desired drink _and_ a glass of water for her.

They watched the barkeeper preparing their drinks when Misty asked Jonas without looking at him:

"I like that perfume you put on. What's it?"

Jonas didn't answer right away so Misty turned to look at him. He obviously just waited for her to look at him.

"Issey Miyake- l'Eau d'Issey" he answered, his voice deep and raspy. Misty looked into his eyes. Did he want to seduce her?

She looked away again feeling her cheeks blush.

The barkeeper got their drinks ready and Jonas paid while Misty took the cinnamon-powdered slice of orange off the glasses rim and began to chew on it.

"What's that perfume you put on?" Jonas now asked in return.

"I didn't put any on." Misty answered and licked her fingertips before she lifted her glass to drink.

"I like it." He said in a cheeky voice.

Misty emptied her glass at one gulp and put it back on the bar with an audible thud. She stared at the glass scared of what would happen if she looked at Jonas again. She knew where this would lead to and she wasn't really sure how to handle it. She wasn't sure what it really meant to her. As if it would give an answer to her unspoken questions, her wrist clothed in a leathern armband to cover the reemerging scar, made itself felt again, not with that annoying itch like earlier this day, but with a sharp pain. She closed her eyes to think it away and immediately opened them again when the vision of a dead frog cut open in front of her hit her sight. Panic grew inside her, slowly but incessantly. She felt her flesh crawl and her heavy breaths caused her fingertips and lips to turn cold. Even in the darkness of the club she could have sworn there was tall shadow creeping the walls around her, but at the same time she was sure, that no one else would see it. No use to tell anybody, they would just think her insane. A voice in her mind grew louder.

"You won't dissect a dead frog, you'll dissect an alive one! You won't dissect a dead frog…"

"You okay?" She felt a hand grabbing hers and looked up to see the familiar face of a certain Mr. Kringley.

"You won't dissect a dead frog, you'll dissect an alive one!"

"Please don't make me…."

Jonas held Misty's hand who looked at him in terror.

"I won't make you do anything, what's wrong?" he asked. He looked around to find Zoe, when he felt Misty's hand getting weak in his. He wasn't quick enough to react, when Misty's body collapsed next to him.

The situation didn't get by unnoticed by the visitors of the club and so it took only five seconds before Zoe was on the scene.

She and Jonas bent over Misty, shaking her, calling her name. "Let's get her out of here!" Zoe said and the following moments seemed as if in slow-motion for her. Jonas lifting Misty with one of her arms around his shoulders. His arms under her waist and knees.

"Make some space!" he called and all party-goers did what he said. They walked through the path between the crowd, like Moses and his people did through the Red Sea.

They made it to the car. Zoe opened the door to the backseats and Jonas carefully laid Misty down on the seats.

"And now?" he asked.

Zoe looked at his shirt.

"What's that?" She asked and pointed on a grey stain on Jonas' shirt. He looked down at his self and dusted it off. He rubbed what was left of it between his fingers.

"Ashes?"

Zoe's eyes widened.

"The academy! NOW!" she ran around the car, climbed onto the other sides backseat and sat next to Misty, her upper body heavy on her lap. Jonas started the car and they head off with squealing tires.

"Maybe this is not the right time to lecture you, but…" Zoe began to talk.

Jonas looked at her through the rearview mirror.

"What?!" he asked.

"You shouldn't use your powers in public, Jonas!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank You for the reviews. They were awesome! **

**This chapter is maybe a kind of disturbing. I was writing it while I was ill and had a real high temperature of 39°C. The last part was even dreamt by me in a feverish delirium. **

**Enjoy! **

Chapter 7

She woke from the banging at the door in panic, her heart beat audible in her ears.

"Cordelia!" She heard a muffled voice calling.

The banging and knocking grew louder while Cordelia got up and put her robe on as fast as she could, before she unlocked the door.

"Zoe!? What the hell…"

"Why do you look that damn door?"

"What do you want?"

"It's Misty, she…" Zoe didn't find the right words to explain, she just gestured into the direction of her room.

Cordelia felt an uncomfortable change of heat and chill wandering thru her body.

"Where?" Cordelia asked while she closed her bedroom door behind her.

Both women almost ran down the hallway and into Zoe's room.

"Get away from her!" Cordelia yelled at a young man who stood next to Zoe's bed in which Misty lay. When he heard Cordelia's voice, he backed away from her.

Cordelia walked into that space between that man and Misty and looked down on her. She was breathing, her eyes closed, her skin covered with a thin film of a grey powder. At some spaced like her palms and her neck it was smudgy with sweat.

"Who's that guy?" Cordelia asked her voice calm now, as she examined Misty.

Jonas and Zoe exchanged a glance, before Zoe spoke:

"He's one of us, Cordelia. He's blessed with the power of…." She stopped talking, when she saw Cordelia let her hands hover over Misty's body, her eyes closed, she wasn't interested in an answer at all. The supreme clenched her teeth and shook her head slightly in desperation. She let her hands fall down.

"May I say something?" Jonas asked his voice low and hoarse.

Cordelia didn't respond. She stood next to the bed defeated. Jonas spoke anyway:

"She said something like…'No, please don't make me'…and…I think she had a vision of me, being someone else."

Cordelia covered her mouth with both of her hands. There was no way she could fight the tears burning in her eyes. She expected the worst, when she reached out for one of Misty's hands to touch. And when she did, she was suddenly paralyzed, because she was proved right. Misty was on her way back to hell.

It took her half a minute until she found the ability to speak and move again. Cordelia slowly turned around to Zoe and that sorcerer. Her nose and chin pale but her cheeks red from crying.

"I need your help." She whispered and addressed both, Jonas and Zoe.

For the first time as supreme Cordelia felt weak, helpless.

Jonas and Zoe approached her. The sorcerer stood across from Cordelia on the other side of the bed. Zoe put a comforting hand on Cordelia's shoulder then stood next to her.

"This will be hard." Cordelia began to explain. "First of all we need to concentrate our powers. You know how that works?"

Jonas and Zoe nodded silently.

"She is almost gone, so… whatever you do, try not to touch her. Her hell might pull you down, as well. Me….I… have to. I have to get there to bring her back."

"What's our job?" Jonas asked.

"The two of you need to hold her in space. You need to…..keep her from going any further. Preserve the status quo of her way. And if you can, pull her back."

Zoe swallowed.

"Let's start, then!" Cordelia said and a second after she spoke, three fingertips met in the air above Misty's body.

"Vis!" Cordelia said.

"Vis!" Zoe echoed, and "Vis!" Jonas finished the spell of the Latin word for power, strength, influence and force.

All three felt their powers triple. All three stood upright, hovering their hands above Misty. Cordelia slowly bent down and laid a gentle hand on Misty's head. She moved even closer so that their cheeks touched and Cordelia could speak quiet words, only dedicated to Misty, into her ears.

"Misty?" She whispered, her right hand slowly wandering down Misty's left arm until her fingertips felt some warm sticky liquid. She knew very well what it was. Even though she knew she had to hurry, she acted calm when she took Misty's hand, placed it upwards next to her head and undid the laces. A groan escaped her throat, when she saw the bleeding wound on Misty's inner wrist. She pressed her palm against it and let magic flow, closing her eyes and concentrating even more when she felt, that it didn't work as easy as it did the last time. Then, after some endless minutes, she felt Misty's skin turn dry and heal. Cordelia spoke to her again quietly. She felt weak, her hands shaky, her muscles already getting sore. But she had to go on.

"Okay, Misty!" Cordelia entangled her fingers with Misty's.

"We did this before, now let me get in!" Her words were just spoken, when she felt Misty's hand clutch hers.

Suddenly Jonas and Zoe needed much more power to hold Misty. It was almost like tug war with an invisible rope. That was the moment they realized that their magic worked.

_Cordelia found herself standing in that same science room she "visited" with Misty before. The only difference had been that the scene already was agitated. She didn't yet focus on anything special when she heard a kid's voice calling: "Freak!"_

_Cordelia looked up to where the voice was coming from and then turned her head to the person whom the word was addressed to. She was right next to her. Misty's appearance was almost like a ghostly apparition. She seemed semi-translucent with what you would describe as a kind of static disturbance. Cordelia understood this as a fact of Misty not being fully there yet, although the vicious loop of her killing the frog and bringing it back to life again, already rolled. She took her hand, remembering that this action connected them, made it possible for them to communicate or at least let their souls communicate. Misty's right hand held a bloodstained scalpel. She looked at it and then turned around to look at Cordelia. _

_"__Come with me!" Cordelia whispered but Misty just shook her head. Although her face seemed to consist of steam or smoke, Cordelia could make out tears on her cheeks and some red stains on the skin of her chin. Her lips moved without her mouth making any sound, her head shaking slightly._

_Cordelia watched carefully before she understood. "Not yet!"_

_Misty turned away from Cordelia back to the frog in front of her. She shook Cordelia's hand away from hers but Cordelia clutched her wrist instead, without losing contact. Misty crossed her hands above the frog and did what was her nature._

_Both women heard the familiar croaking again, before Misty jumped off of the stool and clung to Cordelia as if her life depended on it…well, it actually did. _

_"__Take me home" She cried. _

Cordelia heard a loud thud with which Zoe and Jonas fell on their backs from the lack of antagonistic force. She herself fell onto Misty with her upper body. She was out of breath, tired, exhausted, but she knew that it worked when she realized Misty's hands clawing her back for dear life.

Zoe stood up. She watched Jonas doing the same. Both looked at the two women. They heard muffled crying voices. Misty continuing to whine: "Don't make me go there again, please don't make me go there again!" and Cordelia soothing her with soft words "You're here with me. I'll never let you go again!" she whispered, while she softly stroked her hair and rocked her body.

Zoe watched Jonas approaching them.

"Jonas!" she said to catch his attention. He looked at her and she shook her head.

"Let's leave them alone." She said and walked to the door and beckoned him over. They left quietly.

Jonas walked down the stairs and wiped some sweat off his forehead with the back of his head before he turned around to wait for Zoe. They looked at each other for a couple of seconds before they sat down on the steps.

"I'm sorry, Jonas."

Jonas looked at her.

"It's not your fault this happened. I only hope she'll be okay."

Zoe smiled. "You like her?"

Jonas winked at her.

"Jonas, maybe you should not put too much…."

"Why didn't you tell me she's gay?"

Zoe shook her head vehemently. "I don't think that's the point. I don't even believe she really is. The two of them just belong together. I…..I'm not sure if it's in any way romantic or….sexual…. but… they just do. I watched this, from the moment they first met down there." Zoe pointed into the hallway in front of her. "And I watched this since Misty came back…" Zoe clenched her teeth and shook her head. "I believe that their…connection is the key to Misty's return. And the more they drift apart, the closer Misty moves to her hell again. "

Jonas nodded. "You just came to that realization?"

"I…think so." Zoe quietly said. She padded Jonas shoulder.

"I tell her to call you, okay?"

Jonas took a deep breath and nodded again before he got up.

"I think I'll leave now."

OOOoooOOO

It was almost five o'clock on this Sunday morning and the first birds already began to sing, when the supreme finally switched off the light and lay down in her bed next to Misty. It took her about half an hour to calm down. Afterwards both women just lay in Zoe's bed and looked at each other in an exhausted silence. Their breathing slowly calming down and their cheeks wet of salty tears. The ones on Misty's face rubbed away by Cordelia's fingers from time to time. It was another thirty minutes later when they decided it was time for them to give the bed back to Zoe. They found her patiently waiting on the stairs and Cordelia offered to help her put some clean sheets on her bed, but Zoe told her that this wasn't necessary and she would do it on her own and Cordelia should care about Misty. Now they lay side by side, again looking into each other's eyes.

"Do you think you can sleep?" Cordelia asked, her right hand touching Misty's left, her fingertips slowly stroking down Misty's hand.

"I don't know. At least I'm not scared anymore. I feel better than I did before. Thanks to your…"

Misty looked at their hands playing with each other.

"…love." She finished.

Cordelia moved a bit closer.

"And now?" She smiled and bit her bottom lip. She enjoyed this closeness between the two of them. For once Misty was not backing away and it seemed as if the enjoyed it as well.

Misty thought of the right words to tell Cordelia that she still didn't reciprocated her feelings and how sorry she felt for it, but that at the same time there was no way she could change it. In a way she loved Cordelia more than anything else and it was right that she felt close to her, she felt connected to her but there was no romantic attraction from her side. It did hurt her more that she could explain and maybe the expression that was on her face at that very moment was misunderstood by Cordelia because only a second later she felt her hand on her neck and her lips on hers. And she didn't know why, but it felt good. And she didn't know why, but she answered the kiss and laid her hand on Cordelia's. Maybe it was because she thought she owed it her, maybe it was she finally felt alive again or even maybe because her body just needed it right know but she didn't react against Cordelia when she began move even closer and her hand wandered down to clutch at her breast. She closed her eyes at the sensation on her skin and how it reacted to the touch at once. She felt Cordelia's lips leaving hers and slowly making their way down her chin to her neck, which she was nibbling at right now. Misty even cocked her head to give her better access. She gave in.

oooOOOooo

Twenty minutes later Misty turned on her back, pulling her hand from between Cordelia's legs. The other woman was panting beside her. Misty began to chew on her bottom lip, while staring into the dark grey above her and listening to the breathing of the woman who lay beside her which was slowly calming. She heard her shifting and turned her head towards her again.

"You're okay?" Cordelia whispered.

Misty just managed to nod. Any word would be a proof of her tears. She felt Cordelia's hot fingers pushing a strand of hair out of her face. She moved closer again.

"What about you?" she asked and let her hand wander down Misty's body again. But Misty took her hand and held it in space before she slowly pushed it away.

"I'm fine." She whispered.

"Let's sleep, Delia!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8: "…That somehow this black night feels warmer for the spark…" (Intermezzo II )

Misty didn't know what time it was when she woke up, but she knew that she had to get up. There was no way she could lay in bed much longer. It was a bright sunny day, the birds were singing and the most important thing was she was hungry. It just came to her mind at this very moment that for the first time, since she escaped hell she was hungry. She didn't care about the fact that Cordelia laid next to her, she just left the room and walked downstairs with nothing on but shorts and a t-shirt. She padded into the kitchen. She assumed that she was the first one up on this Sunday morning because there were so dishes in the sink yet. She opened the fridge and there she found some blueberries and eggs. 'Pancakes, I think it is then…' She thought to herself and began to open the cupboards and cabinets to find the rest of the ingredients needed. She mixed them all together and finally put a pan onto the cooktop and let some clarified butter slid into it. She watched it melt and thought of what happened between Cordelia and her last night. It was awful. It was SO. VERY. AWFUL. But there was no way Misty could have made it undone. At this very moment she wished she had the power of ruling over time. Did she do it to please Cordelia? Did she do it because she was physically aroused? By Jonas even? She found no answer to her questions but she knew that she had to talk to Cordelia and finally bring out that she was not in love with her. She felt tears burning in her eyes at the thought. She knew that Cordelia was special to her but knowing that she wanted her in another way than Misty herself needed her to survive was hard to bear and hard to compromise because there was no way Misty could give her what she wanted in return. She was even disgusted by the memory of pleasing Cordelia as she did last night. She had to get out of all this. She had to get away from Cordelia. She had to leave and maybe this suggestion Cordelia made yesterday wasn't that unpleasant as it was a day ago.

She took a deep breath and began to pour some dough into the pan. And finally she even began to hum a melody while she was preparing her breakfast.

Misty was undeniably as hungry as a wolf, so most of the bites she took were too big to fit into her mouth. She took another bite into her already full mouth, some maple syrup dropping on her chin and she didn't know into which corner of her mouth she should push the next bite. It was at this moment when Cordelia walked in.

"Some one's hungry, huh?"

Misty looked up and a little giggle escaped Cordelia's throat at her sight.

"Cute!" she said.

"Embarraffin'" Misty managed to articulate, which made Cordelia laugh even more.

"Adorable, actually…You left some for me?" Cordelia walked around the table. Misty was chewing and swallowing intently and then she wiped her sticky hands off with a napkin. She nodded.

"Over there, it's enough for a whole pride of lions." She pushed her empty plate away from her and leaned back in her chair. She watched as Cordelia prepared herself three pancakes before she came back to the table. The following talk was inevitable and Misty knew that she had to begin, but she decided that she should let Cordelia enjoy her breakfast first. What she didn't expect was that Cordelia began.

"Misty, after all that happened last night and…." Cordelia's cheeks blushed, "what happened in the early hours of this morning… I think it's not necessary for you to leave. "

Misty froze. This couldn't be true. Not a twenty-four hours had passed since Cordelia kicked her out. Now, that Misty found that it was a good thing to leave, to live alone, to be independent again, Cordelia wanted her to stay.

"I'll call the realtor tomorrow and ask him to rescind the contract."

Misty leaned forward with her elbows on the tabletop. She shook her head vehemently before she took Cordelia's hand in hers. She searched for her eyes to look at her and then she softly spoke.

"Let me try to find the right words." She swallowed. "What happened this morning was wrong, Cordelia."

Misty saw the pain stroke through Cordelia's eyes.

"It was wrong of me to…"Misty struggled for words.

"It was wrong for me to give myself to you. It was wrong to let you think I enjoyed it. I should have never let it get that far. I am so sorry. You need to understand, that I'm not in love with you! I mean…I love you more than anything else in this world…. But… not in that girlfriend-way of. "

Misty felt how Cordelia wanted to pull her hand away from her, but she held it with an even stronger grip.

"There's no way for me to say this to you without hurting you, but I hope you understand. For the first time since I cut myself to get out that class room I get the possibility to do what I actually want. For the first time since then, there's nothing evil in me telling me to do the whole opposite of what I want. I don't end up harming me in order to not harm others. I am finally myself again, and that's because of you, Delia. It is so awful to hurt you while you are the person I owe all this. I think I need my own place to live. That's what I did before we met. That's my way of living. Alone like a tigress, if you like. That doesn't mean that I don't want you to be around me, but I need to stay individual. I don't know how to describe it but I even think that I found my tribe in my own self. I need to love and be in love with me before I can fall in love with…" She intended to end the sentence with 'someone else' but she hesitated before she added "…you!" instead.

There was a minute of silence. Misty knew she lit a light spark of hope in Cordelia, who was giving her a soft smile.

"I think this has something to do with you coming of age. I'm proud of you, Misty Day. "

She gingerly put her hand in the crook of Misty's neck and rubbed it softly with her thumb, her eyes constantly asking the other woman if it was okay, but Misty just smiled at her.

"I'll show you the apartment tomorrow, and then we visit all furniture stores in Louisiana so you can choose whatever you want, no matter how exclusive or expensive it is."

Misty slowly shook her head.

"There's nothing I could give you in return…" She slowly whispered. She was happy but uncomfortable at the same time.

"You could ask me out for dinner." Cordelia suggested.

Misty gave her a questioning look.

"As in a date?"

Cordelia winked at her.

"So you say!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Everything must come to an end and so must this story. Maybe I'll add and epilogue (if requested ;-)..)**

**So enjoy this chapter and thanks to all followers and thanks for the encouraging reviews. **

**And thanks to **

Chapter 9: rather be

Misty and Cordelia let themselves fall onto Misty's new huge couch. Well, it was more a landscaped interior. They spent the last two weeks choosing wall colors and furniture and Cordelia paid for everything. Misty chose same greyish-green color for the bed room with a bordure of little alligators. Cordelia put in that it would be a bit childish, but Misty insisted because it would remind her of the swamps, so Cordelia did surrender.

"This is so beautiful." Misty gasped. She turned to face Cordelia. "Thank you." She mouthed when Cordelia smiled at her.

"You're happy?" Cordelia asked.

Misty shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah….." She breathed. She spread her arms and almost yelled:

"This is MY den!"

Cordelia laughed at Misty's choice of words. "Your den? Seriously?"

"Of course!" Misty mimicked a serious face, which made Cordelia even laugh more. Finally it had a contagious effect on Misty who began to chuckle as well. "What is so funny?"

"You!" Cordelia answered.

Misty shook her head. "I'm not that funny at all."

"Yes you are!" Cordelia insisted and turned to lay on her belly. "And I love this about you."

Misty became serious and looked at her. She took a deep breath. "You love everything about me?" she asked. Cordelia only nodded.

"That's because I love you, Misty!" She said sadly.

"But why?" Misty asked slightly shaking her head.

"Because you're _it_!"

Silence, both women just looked each other in the eyes. Cordelia slowly lifted her hand to push a strand of Misty's hair behind her ear. Misty shrugged at the touch, broke the stare and looked down obviously uncomfortable. She was wondering where that feeling of two and a half butterflies in her stomach was coming from. She blew out through her mouth. She looked at Cordelia again.

"Are you jinxing me right now, Cordelia?"

Cordelia shook her head. She did not understand Misty's question.

"How did you get that idea?"

Misty looked at Cordelia while chewing her bottom lip, when she understood, that Cordelia in fact didn't. "Never mind."

She shifted in order to get back some comfort, cleared her throat and spoke:

"May I ask you what situation it was, when you realized that…." She trailed off and gestured between the two of them.

Cordelia took a deep breath, closed her eyes and smiled at her memory.

"Do you remember the other day we've been in the greenhouse? We put all those mud and things into the blender and you smelled it and …" she chuckled at the thought," …you made that sweet face and said something like 'that's some stinky shit' and then smiled at me … and … well, that was the moment I.." she opened her eyes and gestured between Misty and her the same way Misty did as if this gesture was some kind of synonym for … whatever it was.

Misty smiled at her. "That was such a great day. You taught me so much. You are such an awesome friend."

Cordelia blushed. "You looked that cute with that stars-and-stripes-scarf around your head…." She shook her head . "That's why I kept it." she said quietly and waited for Misty's response.

Misty eyes widened and she propped up on her elbows and forearms. "Are you kidding me?"

Cordelia didn't answer, just got up from the couch and walked to her bag she put in the corner of the living room earlier that day. Misty watched her, but Cordelia's body blocked her sight, so she could not see what Cordelia took out of her bag until she turned around.

Cordelia saw Misty's eyes shining and an endless smile appearing on her face which left the skin on the bridge of her nose and the skin around the corner of her eyes in cute little crinkles.

Cordelia threw the scarf around Misty's neck and plopped down beside her again.

"You wore that thing every possible way, around your head, your neck, your hips….It won't have your scent on it anyway."

"Misty lifted the ends of the scarf to her nose and sniffed at the cloth. "It smells of you instead." Misty noticed and looked to Cordelia who blushed at once.

Misty took off the scarf from around her neck and threw it around Cordelia's.

"I want you to keep it." she said and softly adjusted the cloth with her fingers lasting on it some seconds longer than necessary. She looked at it somehow emotional.

"No, Misty. It's yours. It is the only thing that's left of your stuff. The only thing that's really yours. I can't…"

"Right, …" Cordelia was interrupted. "The only thing of what's really mine that I could give to you. It's everything." Misty softly pushed the ends of the scarf to Cordelia's chest and nodded slightly while biting her bottom lip. "I mean … that idea of you me taking you out for dinner would end up with you paying for it anyway. I got no job to earn money to invite you…." Misty turned her head slightly in thought. "…I don't even have such a thing as a social insurance number."

Cordelia chuckled. "You need a job? I could employ you."

Misty looked at her in disbelief. "As what?"

"As a teacher of course. I need one, I really do. Latin and botany slash pharmacology."

"Latin?" Misty laughed out.

"You once mentioned you learned Latin at school." Cordelia tried to explain.

Misty chuckled. "I _had _Latin at school. That doesn't mean I speak Latin. I zoned out when it came to tenses of verbs." She laughed. "I don't shine in anything in particular." She added.

"But you have the ability to enthuse others to simply everything." Cordelia took Misty's hands in hers. She pulled her upward so both women kneeled on the huge couch facing each other. Cordelia moved closer. "Come on. You spoke of independence and individuality. I'll give you a chance to take your first steps. You could intern at first and visit some seminars and maybe in half a year…" She trailed off.

They stared into each other's eyes in silence again and another butterfly joined the ones in Misty's stomach. She was wondering if maybe she was hungry but deep inside her she knew very well, that there was another reason, but she didn't understand. She leaned on the back rest with her elbow propped on it, her fingers playing with the curl behind her ears. She felt the temperature of her skin rising. She knew herself well enough to know that some red stains were probably showing on her neck and face.

Cordelia watched Misty getting somehow nervous, uncomfortable and she had to admit, she found it cute. Misty changed so much in the last couple of days. It was a positive change. She grew up, got rid of that leftover of childish naivety, she left her past behind her end developed some ease of mind. She even changed her style. It was still Misty Day of course but she moderated it in some way. Cordelia after all really liked seeing her in tight jeans and boot and shirts, which hems Misty liked to stuck behind huge belt buckles.

She realized how Misty couldn't stand her gaze for longer than a couple of seconds, how the palm of her hand in hers got sweaty and how little red stains appeared on her face and neck. Cordelia let her hand go and tentatively brought it to the crook of Misty's neck before she leaned in.

Misty sighed and shifted to get rid of the touch. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head slightly.

"It's late." Cordelia said calmly. "I think I should go home."

It was as if two different voices were fighting a battle to be spoken by Misty. One of them wanting Cordelia to stay, to not leave her alone, the other one wanting her to leave, so Misty could get rid of those weird thoughts and feelings inside her. She didn't know how to respond until Cordelia got up and walked to take her bag and jacket.

Misty slowly got up as well, pushing her hands into the pockets of her jeans. She stood waiting awkwardly for Cordelia finish getting ready to leave. She didn't say anything. And she didn't say anything when she walked Cordelia to the door and opened it for her with shaking hands.

"I'll fetch you at eight-thirty tomorrow. We can talk about this job-thing, okay?" Cordelia said her voice just above a whisper. She knew very well how uncomfortable Misty felt, it was too obvious, but she had to leave. She certainly couldn't act full of responsibility any longer and she certainly didn't want to badger Misty. This was what Misty talked about. Some space of her own. Cordelia wanted to respect that wish.

Misty looked at Cordelia, her lips slightly parted. She finally nodded.

"Good night, Delia!" she whispered. She gave her a small smile and let the door fall close.

Both women leaned on the door, Cordelia on the outside standing in the staircase, Misty standing inside her new and suddenly so isolated apartment. Their forehands touching the door, their hands flat on the wood. Finally Cordelia moved to go away. Misty turned around, leaning back against the door for another couple of seconds thinking of what she should do now, before she headed into her bathroom to take a cool shower.

Cordelia slid onto the driver's seat. She put the keycard into the slot but didn't start the engine. She looked at her own reflection in the windshield, grabbing the steering wheel. "Fuck!" She swore. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" her voice crescendoed and she strengthened every curse with a hit from her hand against the steering wheel. She wiped the tears off her cheeks, took a deep breath and straightened, before she finally started the engine and drove off. She channel-surfed the radio twice before she switched it off and drove on only hearing the bur. She was alone on the road for a while before she suddenly saw a mass off red tail lights in front of her. Cordelia stepped off the gas and checked the rear view mirror. There was no car behind her and no oncoming traffic either. Her thumbs began to drum on the steering wheel, when she was weighing her options. She could stand in this tie for half an hour or turn back to … where she'd rather be. She thought for another minute. "Fuck it!" she whispered, indicated left and made a U-turn with squealing tires.

Misty wrapped a towel around her body and took a look at herself in the mirror. The shower she took was rather cool but her skin still steamed all too much. She opened the window and felt the relieving chill of the nightly air on her skin. She brushed her teeth, blow-dried her hair and got desperate trying to comb her curls afterwards. She got ready for bed.

The silken sheets cooled the skin on her legs and forearms, but that effect was soon gone, when Misty's skin got hot again. She lay on her back asking herself what all this feelings and physical reactions meant. She didn't admit to herself what was the most obvious reason. Finally she gave in to the urge of her body and let her right hand slip into her panties. She closed her eyes and a vision of Cordelia's face appeared before her eyes. Her left hand touched her neck and she imagined it to be Cordelia's. Her fingertips were slowly wandering down her sternum and the valley between her breasts before she was suddenly kicked out of her fantasies by the keening sound of her doorbell. She grunted in frustration when she got up and quickly put a sweater on before running to the door and opening it.

"Delia! ..."

"I can't stand it any longer!" Cordelia breathed, grabbed Misty's neck with both hands softly but pulled her down to her firmly and kissed her. Misty lost her balance for one second before she leaned into Cordelia's body. Cordelia's tongue carefully grazed over Misty's upper lip, asking for permission to enter her mouth. Misty pushed the door close with the heel of her foot, before she was able to give in. Her hands moved awkwardly because she really didn't know where to put them or what to do with them. She was grateful when Cordelia grabbed one of her hands and brought it to her jackets lapel and obviously wanted her to pull it off her body. Misty let her other hand join and did as Cordelia wanted her to, their kiss never breaking. Cordelia kicked off her shoes and finally their lips parted when Cordelia's body slipped down an inch to Misty's surprise. Cordelia took Misty's hand again and pulled her behind her into the bedroom. Without asking for any permission anymore Cordelia pushed her hands under Misty's sweater and pulled it over her head. Misty was too aroused, nervous or whatever to resist Cordelia's actions. Her skin was still burning hot and sensitive to every touch. She watched as Cordelia took off her blouse and jeans and was some kind of defenseless when she was pushed on her bed and Cordelia straddled her.

Misty felt the other woman's hands all over her body, leaving her skin burning where ever she touched it. She heard the noises Cordelia's lips made when they kissed every inch of her body, leaving just the same effect on her skin as her hands did. She began to tremble in weakness towards her feelings. Some very tiny tears threatened to leave her eyes.

"You're nervous?" Cordelia asked in whisper. Misty didn't respond. Cordelia scrutinized her, but didn't get an answer. Misty just looked at her with watery eyes. Cordelia's fingertips danced over Misty's sternum just as Misty imagined it a couple of minutes ago.

"This is your first time with a woman?" Cordelia asked and saw Misty' jaw clench and suddenly she understood that this was obviously her first time at all. She plopped down beside Misty and sighed. Misty turned to face her, suddenly missing the feeling of her skin on her own. Cordelia's fingers entangled with Misty's curls and she planted little kisses all over her face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked in between the kisses.

"When and why do you think this would have been appropriate?" Misty asked her voice trembling, placing open mouthed kisses on Cordelia's face herself.

"Like in 'Hi I'm Misty, 32-year-old virgin'?" Cordelia began to chuckle and Misty somehow felt at bit more at ease.

"C…Can we go on now?" Misty asked, pulling Cordelia back over her again and gingerly pushing her down by her shoulders.

"Someone's eager?" Misty heard Cordelia's muffled voice from beneath the duvet before she became a slave of her senses again when she felt Cordelia's tongue grazing her clit. Misty tried to breathe calmly, which she of course failed. She threw hear arm over her face and moaned into the crook of her arm to muffle the noise. When she almost couldn't stand the sensation anymore, she felt Cordelia shifting. She was crawling up her body and finally her head appeared from under the duvet. The heat radiating from both of their bodies filled the air. She kissed Misty passionately and let her taste herself.

"You're okay?" She quietly asked.

Misty nodded. "A bit dizzy, though." She said huskily.

"Come here!" Cordelia pulled her up to a sitting position. She shifted her position as well, wrapped Misty's legs around her waist and pulled her closer, Misty's abs contracting under the touch of Cordelia's fingertips slowly wandering down her body. Misty's eyes locked with Cordelia's and she slowly breathed out when she felt her fingers entering her. Cordelia moved her fingers inside her in a steady slowly pace. She brought her lips to Misty's ear.

"You do this the way you want, okay?" Misty nodded and suddenly rode Cordelia's hand in at a faster pace. It didn't take long until Misty put her hands on the sides of Cordelia's face and made her look at her.

"Something's wrong …" She whispered, but Cordelia shook her head. She felt that the whole opposite was true.

"Jus' let go, Misty." She stumbled and put some more force into her thrusts. So Misty did. Cordelia watched as her face lifted with every breath she took, her lips opening to let out soft moans at first before she finally threw back her head in a throaty guttural moan. Cordelia stopped breathing and just watched Misty slowly coming down from her high. She slowly dropped her head again, wrapped her arms around Cordelia's neck, her breath hot on her cheeks. Cordelia felt Misty's body shaking and heard some quiet sobs.

"Hey…" Cordelia looked at Misty and saw her crying. She softly wiped the tears of her face with her fingers.

"What's the matter?" she softly asked. Misty looked straight into Cordelia's eyes.

"I…" she swallowed. "I was so blind, Delia..."

Cordelia just shook her head. She smiled. "Obviously you're not anymore."

"I love you, Delia!" Misty finally said before she captured Cordelia's lips and kissed her sensually.


	11. Chapter 11

Epilogue

Cordelia woke up to the smell of heaven. It was the smell of her and Misty mixed together and spread all over the sheets. She turned her face into the pillow and took a deep breath before she opened her eyes. She looked beside her where Misty fell asleep a couple of hours ago but the space was empty. Cordelia swallowed turned on her back to get a better view of her surroundings and then she saw her standing on the balcony back towards her. She had no clue that Cordelia was watching her. She took the opportunity to adore every single inch of her. From the delicate lace of veins on the back of her feet over her ankles, her toned calves, her thighs, her butt alas clothed in a pair of pajama shorts, the same with her upper body clothed in a shirt and additionally covered with a shawl. Her forearms' sun kissed skin, her wild curly mass of hair. After two minutes Cordelia decided she had enough and got up. She picked her rumpled shirt from somewhere on the floor and put it on before she joined the woman of her dreams on the balcony. She wrapped her arms around her waist, locking her hands with Misty's on her belly and nuzzled into the space between her shoulder blades inhaling her smell. She heard a grumble from Misty's stomach and felt the vibration beneath her fingers at the same time. Both women began to laugh. Cordelia stood on tiptoe to reach Misty's right ear to nibble at her earlobe, causing Misty to moan.

"See? I'm hungry too. May I invite you to have breakfast with me in town?"

Misty turned around in Cordelia's arms.

"You wanna wear _that_ shirt?" Misty leaned in to kiss her. Her fingers finding the buttons of her shirt and began to slowly undo them while she pushed Cordelia inside the bed room again.

"I thought I could borrow one of yours " Cordelia managed to say between kisses.

"Maybe later!" Misty answered.

* * *

It was a few days later when Misty signed a labor contract in Cordelia's office. She recapped the pen with a proud smile on her face and handed it back to Cordelia.

"You won't regret it!" Cordelia said and moved closer to hug her.

"I won't regret anything concerning you and me. You know that."

"Will we meet later today?" Cordelia asked in a whisper.

Misty pulled her closer by her hips and began to chew her bottom lip.

"Of course we will but I have to leave now. I have a lesson to sit in on. Or do you want to distract me at the first opportunity?"

She gently pushed Cordelia away from her and left the office not without giving her girlfriend a teasing wink.

Misty walked down the hallway when Zoe passed her talking to someone at her cellphone.

"Misty!" she heard her call her. She turned around. Zoe was handing her the cellphone.

"Someone wants to talk to you!" Misty took the phone and brought it to her ear.

"Hello?" She spoke to the person at the other end of the phone. She felt Zoe's hand on her shoulder.

"You need to fix this up!" She whispered before she went off.

* * *

Later that day Misty exited the registry office of the district with an even prouder smile than in the morning and a brand new ID in her hand. She put it into her messenger bag and pulled her sunglasses out of it. She looked up again and saw him leaning against his motor bike like a cliché. She smiled at him while she approached him. He stood and reached out to shake her hand.

"Hey Misty. How are you?"

Misty put her sunglasses back in her bag. She didn't want to be so impolite and wear them, while talking to him.

"You don't expect me to ride that thing, don't you?" She asked.

"To be honest …" he looked at his bike and turned around to Misty again. "I intended to impress you."

Misty laughed and shook her head.

"Da da dam…." Jonas made a 'Game-Over' noise before he joined Misty's laughter.

"Let's take a walk." Misty suggested. Jonas nodded in approval.

While walking they talked about superficial things as weather and Misty's new apartment and Jonas' music band before they reached the Mississippi promenade. They sat down on a bench. Jonas had bought some ice cream for both of them, which they both were enjoying right now.

Jonas cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Misty, I…Zoe told me what happened to you and … um … well … I …"

"Jonas, would you please speak now." Misty got slightly annoyed.

Jonas took a deep breath.

"I just want you to know, that I would have kissed you a second later the other night." He blushed and shoveled some spoons of ice cream into his mouth.

"I know…" Misty said calmly. "I would have too."

They looked at each other.

"I am so sorry Jonas. I was confused, angry and lost at that night. But I changed. I…You should forget me as fast as you can."

"You're special."

"I'm not, please stop that. You don't know me. "

"And I'll never get the chance to."

Misty brought her hands up in surrender.

"I don't know what else to say."

"Are you happy now, with Cordelia, your girlfriend?"

Misty just smiled at him and he nodded.

"That's all I need to know." He said and rose to stand.

Misty did the same. They stood some seconds in awkward silence not sure whether it was more appropriate to hug or shake hands. They finally hugged in a friendly way.

"Take care of yourself!" Misty said and inhaling his perfume again. She smiled at the memory. She loved Cordelia but damn it she liked that perfume.

They let go of each other.

"Just let me know, when the two of you need a biological father for your baby, okay?" Jonas joked.

"Now, seriously! Stay in heaven! Hell's no place for you."

"Thank you for the ice cream." Misty said, stirring the semi-melted milky liquid in her pasteboard cup.

"You're very welcome."

Misty backed out a few steps before she turned around to walk home. She thought of Jonas advice. She surely would do.

She surely would stay in heaven.

FIN

**sequel? let me know.**


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